robbed of all it's passion

Friday, September 30
12:17 AM

sometimes i want a little more. little more than what you can give me, little more than what you expect of me. but everytime you give a little more, i turn my back and run. will this cycle never end.

a picture perfect relationship is sweet, the rush of a forbidden fling tastes even better. people ask, "why are you like this. why are you so negative when it comes to falling in love?" i'm not negative. i just hate the burden that comes with loving a person. a girl in a relationship worries too much. mindless chatter in her head like "is he cheating on me? how come he never calls me? doesn't he love me anymore?" i have enough in my head, i don't need more to flood my brain. sure, i love the sugar coated romances where my prince charming sweeps me off my feet and rides off to his white palace. roses and inpromptu signs of affections. all the little details that just make me think, "wow, will this last forever?" of course not. nobody tells you what happens after snow white and her prince gets married. flirtings by the well and true love's first kiss, the honeymoon period, which couple hasn't experienced it all. but after he gets the princess, does he still display such loving signs of affection? i think not. i wonder if snow white sits on her throne thinking, "where is charming today? riding off to save some other damsel with an apple lodged down her throat?"

love is tricky. i don't hate love. forbidden flings always taste better because of the fear of getting caught. you appreciate and treasure every minute but once its over, you move on. enjoy the whirlwind love and run off before the burdens of a relationship drags you down. selfish? maybe. but this way nobody gets hurt. get your feelings straight out so you both know what game you guys are playing.

the idea of forbidden, makes me think back of a situation i experienced a long time ago. there was something going on between us. but nobody knew then, just me and him. even though there were barely ten people in the room, to me, it felt like a crowd. so near yet so far. come to think of it my behaviour in my previous relationships were somewhat naive. i love you forever. what a load of bull. perhaps i was like the other girls, love was oxygen. i filled my brain with useless thoughts and now, whenever i think back, i would have wanted to go back in time and slap myself silly. i see my previous self in one of my friend's girlfriend. she needs it so much, but her boyfriend just can't give enough of it to her. it by the way, is time and affections for all you pervertic people out there.

the night air is filled with curious things. they make you wonder more than you want to.

-fin.

Tuesday, September 27
5:05 PM

while coming home from school today, i saw a lady working out in the gym. being a nice girl, i lifted my packet of chips and waved it to her. for some reason, she quickly looked away and tried to ignore me. oops. i know in the end i will be suffering but i don't care anymore.

the history paper today was sort of expected. fortunately, at least what i attempted to study came out. dear gorbachev, sino soviet relations and the ever present origins of the coldwar. two down, just three more to go. am feeling rather optimistic towards history, but for some reason, whenever i feel confident of a paper i end up getting an O. must remain pessimistic. MUST STAY erm. pessimistic? (then perhaps i can get a D! hope hope hope.)

i don't want to RETAIN! or get kicked out! MUST START DOING MATH. why do we need maths anyway. as if i will wonder to myself whether tan a intersects sinA or whether partial fractions will one day save my life. i'm going to fail. again.

and this is wonderful as loving goes,
this is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?

-fin.

Saturday, September 24
12:08 AM

entry dedicated to this friend of mine.

i can tell him stuff that i will never ever ever tell any other guys. cause he actually understands me and think in the same way. i can give you a zillion examples, but then again, i can't post them here. they're too controversial and too evil.

he carries all my shopping bags and shops like a girl whenever we have mini shopping sprees. the way he wrinkles up his face when i show him an "auntie" looking top. the way he holds up a pair of pumps and stick it in my face, pointing frantically saying, "CHEAP! BARGAIN!" and when i say i think about it, he just goes, "ah, that means no."

he never fails to crack me up, even when the jokes are on the stupidest things ever. he laughs at my stupidity and i laugh at his inability to keep up with my speech. he whines when i'm late but still will patiently stand there, cursing fool for every five mintues.

he might actually be as vain as me. but he is pure man by being the perfect boyfriend to liz.

bren bren bren (note, three times) this is for you.

-fin.

Friday, September 23
8:07 PM

faint heart never won fair lady.

how true, how true.

-fin.

Wednesday, September 21
7:24 PM

melissa and i were on the bus and we were discussing quite randomly about birdshit, ugly guys and cool lizards. Then, a guy came on board the bus and stood next to us. After a while, we realised (by pure accident.) that his fly was undone. And standing next to us, happily chatting to his friend. For girls, having their fly undone is still okay, its usually covered. but for guys, oh my god. the bulge gives everything away. i wonder how long it will take for him to realise. then maybe he will understand why we were giggling to ourselves.

-fin.

Saturday, September 17
5:24 PM

salsa potato chips and newton raphsons.
i love waking up at 11 in the morning.
i love being miss perfectionist.
i love screaming at people who piss the fuck out of me.

Go to your Winamp (or any media player) and put it all on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and after each one press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

What do you think of me, WMP?
-MR BRIGHTSIDE.
erm, a jealous and frivolous person?

Will I have a happy life?
-LOSE MY BREATHE.
a marvellous life i hope.

What do my friends really think of me?
-SUNDAY MORNING,
probably because i don't go to church much.

Do people secretly lust after me?
-AS LOVERS GO.
yes definitely. ha.

What does [insert significant other] think of me?
-I'M GOOD.
damn. need to get a significant other.

How can I make myself happy?
-HOLLABACK GIRL,
i really don't know what to think.

What should I do with my life?
-COME GET SOME,
YES i need some.

Why must life be so full of pain?
-DON'T LIE,
obviously life is supposed to be a walk in the park for an ipod.

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
-DON'T CHA',
fuck OR be a pussycat doll.

Will I ever have children?
-SHAKE IT OFF,
probably means get over it. NO children for jamie.

Will I die happy?
-HANDS DOWN,
at least that's relatively good.

Can you give me some advice?
-CRAZY IN LOVE,
in love? wtf. with who?

Do you know where your children are?
-SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHT ON,
twits and chickens.

What do you think happiness is?
-MY HUMPS,
yes, must love my fats and bumps.

What's your favourite fetish?
-GIFTS AND CURSES,
wtf curses.

-fin.

Thursday, September 15
4:54 PM

gp yesterday was all about the advancement and new reality of the virtual world. halfway through, we stumbled upon the idea of cyber sex and was treated to a rather humourous, yet disturbing example. school aside, here's a little something i got from natalie.c's blog. its not hers, but a website which she found and i personally find it highly amusing. if you're a girl that is.

MEN EXPOSED

men, they think they're all that. apparently they are willing to go to all lengths just to have their lust satisfied. even to the extent of going on the IRC and meeting some weird stranger. if they want sex that badly, they should go down to geylang, into some bloody whore house and fuck some whore. maybe at the same time, they can get STDS. THEN maybe they will start thinking with their brain instead of their dicks.

-fin.

Tuesday, September 13
6:42 PM

Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
-the killers

Its horrible when you lie on the bed, with your mind racing at 100km/h on random things, but all you want to do is just to close your eyes, and drift to sleep. For me, its been like this for a few days, and all that lack of sleep has really accumulated, and today. It surfaced. Not looking forward to sitting in a classroom for two hours later.

After school, a few of us, as usual, hung out in the classroom, waiting for an extra history lecture at 430. In an attempt to de-stress ourselves, we decided to play bowling with empty drink bottles and a basketball. Daryl and I are undisputed champions. Strikes all the way for me and you, boy. Got tired and decided to stomp very loudly, not to mention, firmly, on barry's foot. I do not take kindly to insults. Ha, nah, he's so harmless, he wouldn't harm a fly. Then Daryl and I had a mini drama serial where we played very stereotyped housewife and husband. Point to be mention here is that he was the housewife. He found knitting absolutely fascinating and after some point, got addicted to twirling pens which we used to symbolise knitting.

I really need some sleep. And definitely to study more. Lagging behind sucks like fuck.

-fin.

Sunday, September 11
8:58 PM

ever wonder who starts fashion trends? do representatives from fashion power houses gather at the table and throw out portfolios of their self perceived 'latest' fashion? here's a little something i found online.

Q: Who Starts Trends?

A: There isn't really a group of people who decide whether or not something is cool. Basically, what happens is that designers and buyers (the people at the stores that buy the merchandise to sell) use their best judgment and throw a lot of different looks out there and see what catches on. Basically, WE decide what's cool by what we decide to buy and wear. What happens alot lately is that stuff that is worn on the street by young people catches on and makes it way onto the fashion runways. You see, not every fashion idea originates with the fashion crowd (although they aren't likely to admit it) The consumer is in charge.

as always, one has to quote the source otherwise, one might be charged for plagarism.
http://fashion.about.com/od/latesttrends/f/starttrends.htm

-fin.

Saturday, September 10
11:56 PM

considering on whether i should move my perfection. here

-fin.